Author: Danyelle Lynch

During this eight week therapeutic group, Parker (they/them) and Nicole (she/her) will lead participants through opportunities to learn about gender identity, explore self expression, learn new coping skills, and build connections with other trans and gender-creative young people.

The skills developed in this group aim to help participants to feel empowered when facing lifelong challenges related to discrimination, rights violations, and relational conflicts.

This group will include creative, psychoeducational, social, and reflective components to support the growth and learning of attendees.

Age: 10-13 years old

Time: Tuesdays 5:30-7:30pm

Dates: October 17 & 24, 2023

November 7, 14, 21, & 28, 2023

December 5 & 12, 2023

Location: 214, 13220 St. Albert Trail NW Edmonton Cost: $400 total, sliding scale and payment plans available on a case-by-case basis

For questions and registration contact

(780)886-5471 or

contact@onetreepsychological.ca

One Tree Psychological 

Jessica Johnson

After a long and well earned summer for children and teens it is that time again to go back to school. This first day of school alarm can be a rude awakening for some and can bring forward a time for transition. Whether your kiddo is an anxious new kindergartener or a confident teenager going into their last year of highschool it can bring on a new social scene, new classes, new teachers, and new schedules. 

How can we help to make this transition from fun in the sun during summer to homework and new experiences during school. 

First Day Jitters

The first day of school can be unpredictable and crazy. How can caregivers and children work together to combat these nerves? 

• Get a map of the new school or do a visit to the school to get a lay of the land. Find the kiddos’ new locker or new homeroom. 
• Work together and pack their backpack a few days before to make sure that nothing is being forgotten, like their gym outfit or new colorful pencils. 
• Is finding the best outfit for your first day on your kiddos mind? The key is to wear something that makes them feel good about themselves, this could be a new outfit or their favorite comfy sweater.
• Help your kiddo get to know their schedule and help them to keep an open mind about all thenew teachers they will meet. Teachers can do a lot of things differently which can be scary, try and keep an open mind. 

Managing the New Feelings

Lots of people feel anxious, scared, nervous, or excited about going back to school or starting a new school. These emotions are perfectly normal and getting back into a routine after summer and new workloads can bring up emotions that we do not expect. Bringing a special item from home that your child can keep in their backpack or pocket can help to bring safety to this time of transition.

Meeting new people and getting acquainted with old friends after the summer can feel overwhelming. If your kiddo is shy or reserved, they can try saying hi to one new person a day, starting slow can boost confidence.

 

A strategy that parents can help when there are big feelings when coming home from school is creating a safe space where your child can unwind after school. Try calming activities such as a place for your child to listen to their favorite music, do their favorite creative art activity, or journaling about their day without interruptions. Providing this space helps your kiddo to have somewhere to process emotions and calm their sensory overload. 

Having a consistent routine can help your kiddo feel as though they have control and knowledge regarding what they are doing. This includes after school activities, having a schedule of what activities are going on for the whole family where your child can visualize can help with having the knowledge around what to expect during the week. Be sure to give your child some input into what they want to do such as picking their extra curricular activities or helping decorate or add their activities to the family calendar. 

Transitioning into a new school year or even a new school can be overwhelming but when kiddos have the support and understanding of their caregivers and support system it can make this transition smoother and less stressful. 

Why are transitions hard?

• Children feel safe when they know what to expect of them and when. 

Consistency = Safety

• Depending on their developmental stage their idea of time can be confusing and they do not understand 1 minute from 10 minutes. Having accurate developmental expectations for your child is important to include in your thought process.
• Change is hard no matter what age, when we do not know or have never learned how to regulate ourselves. Being able to move in and out of regulation is difficult for some children. 

What happens in a child’s brain with unexpected change?

In their brain, something is different and unexpected and that does not feel safe. The brain can go into its emergency response of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn when it feels unsafe depending on the environment they were raised in.  

Emotional dysregulation can happen when abrupt changes are within their day, this loss of access to their thinking brain can send them asking for help and connection in the only ways their brain knows how. 

How can we help support our child?

1. Consistency as much as possible so that they know what to expect throughout the day. 
2. Timers, giving them something visual to look at gives them the idea of when it runs out it is time to transition. 
3. Talk to them about the day, give them as much time to prepare for different activities in the schedule.  
4. Visual schedule can help children understand the events and expectations of the day, especially if the child is not old enough or unable to read pictures. 
5. Putting the more challenging activities closer to the beginning of the day if possible, that way they are less tired and have more access to the rational part of their brain. 
6. Transition objects can be helpful in supporting children with difficulties transitioning from one physical place to another. This could be a specific blanket, stuffed animal, toy, or pictures that makes them feel safe. 
7.  Transition songs or music, choose something upbeat that gets their attention and gets them excited and moving towards the new activity or goal. 
8. Sensory breaks or activities to bridge the gap between activities or places. Could be pushing against a wall, stomping dinosaur feet, bouncing a ball from one place to the other. 
9. Use social stories to support in describing what the day or transitions look like for the child. Having this idea of what transitions look like helps them with consistencies and expectations of the day. 
10. Extra time, rushing does not make anyone feel good and only increases anxiety around the transition. Try not to leave things to the last minute.
11. Recognize your own emotions around the transitions, children usually feel what the people closest to them are feeling. Stay calm and relaxed while showing transition strategies by doing them yourself. Be playful!

Heffron, C. (2017, September 12).10 calming techniques and transition strategies for kids. The Inspired Treehouse. https://theinspiredtreehouse.com/transition-strategies-preventing-tantrums-during-daily-routine/
The Chaos and the Clutter (n.d) Transition strategies for kids.https://www.thechaosandtheclutter.com/archives/transition-strategies-for-kids

By Tara Murphy

Consider your favourite homemade meal, and the warmth and joy that comes from eating it –every time. Think of each ingredient used in it and how once you’ve added each item to your recipe, you put it back on the shelf. If those items stay there for a long time they may get stale, change, or ruin and this impacts how your meal tastes next time. Consider these ingredients to be every aspect of your relationship with your partner –humor you share, common interests, romantic gestures, appreciation, intimacy, etc. Together they make a beautiful dish, or in this case a relationship, but when life gets in the way we forget to check on them, replenish them, or adjust them so they may alter in flavour and noticeability. Couples therapy is designed to work with the recipe you’ve already created with your partner and find ways to replenish, refresh, and perhaps alter some ‘ingredients’ to maintain that lovely dish that has brought you much love and comfort in the past. 

Not sure if your relationship is at the point of needing couples therapy? 

This is a very common question! Relationships can naturally fluctuate somewhat with life’s stresses, but often times we don’t feel the need to prioritize our relationship because we assume it’s just a ‘rough patch’ – until the ‘rough patch’ is a rough year, decade, or it’s at its breaking point. Therapy is usually most effective when new tools are added to the toolbox before we’re at that breaking point (Gottman & Gottman, 2008). Don’t wait for those ingredients to go stale or empty before replenishing!

Here are some common thoughts people often have before coming in for couples therapy: 

• I feel like my partner isn’t really listening or hearing me when I bring up things that bother me
• We used to have so much in common and now we don’t agree on anything or share many interests
• I can feel my partner distancing from me and I don’t know what to do, or I feel myself distancing from my partner and am not sure why or how to fix it 
• I’m not certain my partner likes me anymore. They are critical of me or don’t acknowledge what I do well 
• I want to become best friends with my partner again 
• It’s hard to find time exclusively with my partner with busy kids and life 
• I want to be a team with my partner 
• I want to be seen and appreciated by my partner 

What couples therapy looks like: 

[utilizing the Gottman Method (Gottman & Gottman, 2008)]

• The initial session is a chance for you to meet your therapist and let your therapist get an idea of what your relationship looks like, areas you enjoy about your relationship, areas you want to work on, and goals for therapy (1 hour -1.5 hour)
• Next two sessions (each an hour) are for each partner to attend individually. This is for you to reflect more individually on your needs and wants in your relationship, perhaps give some personal background, and consider the goals you feel are important to achieve. There may be some questionnaires provided at these sessions. 
• Reunited: after the individual sessions, your next session will be with your partner and will focus on creating a plan with your therapist on what you want your journey of togetherness to look like what that recipe might need. Your therapist will work to guide you and your partner in developing and practicing skills and behaviours that work to achieve the goals you’ve set together. More individual sessions may be suggested. 

If couples therapy interests you or you’d like to learn more, contact us through contact@onetreepsychological.ca or 780-886-5471 and a couples therapist can consult with you for free. I look forward to supporting you and your partner on your journey to replenishing that comfort-favourite recipe! 

References

Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. S. (2008). Gottman method couple therapy: Clinical handbook of couple therapy. The Guilford Press.