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February Newsletter
Author: Danyelle Lynch
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Burn Out
Written by Tara Murphy
Burnout is what happens when life keeps asking for more and more, and you’ve got nothing left to give. It’s not just being tired—it’s that deep, worn-down feeling that doesn’t go away after a good night’s sleep. Burnout shows up everywhere. At work, it can feel like staring at your screen with zero motivation, feeling cynical or disconnected, or doing the bare minimum just to get through the day. In parenting, burnout might look like snapping over small things, feeling touched-out, or secretly wishing for silence and then feeling guilty for it. In family relationships, it can turn into resentment, withdrawal, or feeling like you’re carrying everyone else’s emotional load. When self-care gets pushed aside, burnout often shows up physically—headaches, poor sleep, anxiety, low mood—and when expectations and guilt pile on, you may feel like resting is “lazy” and saying no makes you a bad person.
Paying attention to burnout actually matters because ignoring it doesn’t make it go away—it just makes it louder. When burnout is left unchecked, it can slowly drain your mental health, strain relationships, and even start affecting your body. Many people internalize burnout and assume they’re failing or “just not strong enough,” instead of recognizing that they’re overwhelmed and unsupported. Awareness is powerful because it helps you catch the signs early, before exhaustion turns into emotional shutdown or constant resentment. Burnout isn’t a character flaw; it’s your system waving a flag saying something needs to change.
Reducing burnout starts with both mindset shifts and practical changes. Psychologically, it means noticing your warning signs and getting curious instead of judgmental—asking, “What do I need?” rather than “What’s wrong with me?” Setting boundaries without guilt is huge: saying no, lowering the bar, and letting some things be “good enough.” It also means challenging the belief that your worth comes from productivity, sacrifice, or keeping everyone happy. On a behavioural level, burnout eases when rest becomes non-negotiable, not something you earn after everything else is done. Small, consistent acts of care—stepping outside, moving your body, unplugging, doing something just because it feels good—help your nervous system reset. Burnout fades when you stop expecting yourself to be limitless and start treating yourself like a human who deserves care, too.
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December Newsletter
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Coping With The Season
Written by Parker Pothier
This time of year, it is common for clients to bring up concerns in therapy related to coping during the holiday season. Clients worry about having uncomfortable, awkward, or downright hurtful interactions with family. They feel obligated to attend large workplace functions but struggle deeply with social anxiety. Some clients are missing someone, and others have hard memories associated with holidays. For those experiencing family estrangement, holidays can feel particularly lonely. Many folks face financial stress and food insecurity this time of year as well.
Whatever heaviness the season brings you, there are things you can do to lighten the load. You are in control of your experience and can find some relief. You don’t have to like the holidays, but finding ways to neutralize the hard parts can be supportive.
Here are some prompts to consider:
Make a “challenging event I feel like I need to attend” Bingo card, featuring spaces that say things like, “Someone asks why I’m not married yet,” or, “Someone complains about the food.” Making a hard event a little bit playful can give you a bit of distance from the stress. This can be a mental activity or blank Bingo cards can be printed from the web.
Assess your boundaries. You are allowed to stay at a party for a short period of time and then leave, you are allowed to say, “no,” to anything you don’t want to do, you are allowed to set any limits that you want with yourself and others.
If you happen to get a stomach bug the morning of a holiday event and now cannot attend, be compassionate to your mind and body. Rest and hydration are your friends, and you can re-evaluate your participation in get-togethers when you’re feeling better.
For many of us, that word is “should.”
We say it without thinking—“I should call them,” “I should exercise,” “I should be happier.” But behind every “should” often lies a layer of guilt, pressure, or unrealistic expectation that slowly chips away at our emotional well-being.
That’s why one of my (Clinical Director, Danyelle) favourite phrases is: “Stop shoulding yourself.”
No seriously—I love it so much, I literally put it on a T-shirt.
Why is “shoulding” yourself so harmful?
It’s my favourite to say because it tends to make people pause. They stop to really think about what I just said, and more importantly, what I meant by it. That pause allows space for reflection—on how often we use “should” language, and how quietly damaging it can be.
Great question—thanks for asking!
Using “should” language creates a sense of obligation that often causes us to feel bad for not meeting our own expectations, or those of others. It leads to guilt when we haven’t done the thing yet, and sometimes even shame when it seems like there must be something wrong with us because we haven’t followed through.
We often believe that “shoulding” ourselves will motivate us into action—but it rarely works that way. Instead, it piles on guilt and shame, leaving us feeling crummy and overwhelmed. And so, the very thing we “should” be doing often remains undone.
Or maybe you’re the kind of person who does complete the task after a self-inflicted “should.” So, what’s the harm in that?
Another great question!
Even when “should” leads to action, it’s often tied to unrealistic standards or perfectionism—both of which take a toll on mental health. “Should” statements tend to be relentless. They follow us around and rarely allow space to feel content with what we’ve accomplished. Instead, we’re left chasing ever-moving goalposts, which can lead to burnout, anxiety, or chronic dissatisfaction.
When we persistently “should” ourselves, we reinforce a message that what we’re doing—or who we are—isn’t good enough. In this way, “should” becomes the supervillain of our internal world, constantly working against our self-compassion, empathy, and acceptance.
Isn’t it a little dramatic to call “should” language a supervillain?
Wow—you’re really on a roll with these questions today!
Okay, maybe it’s a little dramatic. But here’s the thing: self-compassion, empathy, and acceptance are like the superheroes of our emotional world. They help us foster resilience, support sustainable growth, and nurture a healthier sense of self. “Should” language undermines those internal strengths.
So, next time you catch yourself “shoulding” on yourself, pause. Take a moment to reframe.
Try shifting your inner dialogue to something like:
- “It would be helpful if I vacuumed.”
- “I’m choosing to be more active.”
- “I’m working on feeling happier.”
It might seem like a small shift—but over time, how we talk to ourselves shapes how we feel about ourselves. And that change can be surprisingly powerful.
Written by Danyelle Lynch.